The C Word and Power Muffs

I was channel surfing one day and came across a Girls Next Door episode.  I’d heard about the show but I didn’t know much about it.  I wasn’t and still am not a big fan of reality television.  But I liked these girls so I watched from season one and loved the show.  On the surface, you see three blonds with big boobs dating a really old but rich guy.

Of course I grew up hearing about Playboy.  Who didn’t right?  And here was the creator of all that and his three girlfriends. Three of them.  The Playboy lifestyle before my very eyes.  Slowly, I got to see what Hef’s life was like.  An entire staff and his beck and call.  A sauce secretary.  Lots and lots of pretty girls.  Much of the time, barely clothed pretty girls.  There were lavish trips and extravagant parties.  During the show, I also got to learn about Holly, Bridget and Kendra.  Holly was and still is absolutely stunning.  She’s funny.  She’s strong.  She’s got a good business sense.  She seems like she would be the perfect best friend.  Bridget and I share a love of horror movies.  I loved the carpet tree she had in her room for Gizmo.  And she was in school and really smart.  I loved her theme costumes.  Kendra is this very out there person.  I don’t think you have to wonder what she’s thinking because she says what she thinks.  Full of life.

Because it’s reality television, you never know what is really going on behind the scenes.  But from what I saw, Hef loved his girls.  He was proud of them.  And I, like everyone else, rooted for Hef to marry Holly.  I could see her as First Lady of the Playboy Mansion.  I think the viewers wanted it as bad as Holly did.  Later, we would learn that she went through IVF during some of the filming.  Seriously, what a strong woman.  I don’t care what anyone says, I admire her.

And then the day came that Holly left Hef.  And Bridget and Kendra soon followed.  Kendra married Hank and had little Hank.  Bridget found her love.  And bought a really cool house.  I bet she throws bad ass Halloween parties.  I felt a little like I’d been broken up with.  I couldn’t imagine what she was going through.  She headed to Vegas, got the Peep Show and started a life there.  And she has her own reality show called Holly’s World.  It’s not a good as GND simply because it has a lot of her friends and not enough of Holly.

Hef moved on to Crystal and the twins.  I always thought the twins were trashy.  I still do.  I didn’t watch their episodes because it just wasn’t the same.  It would be like watching Friends with 6 new people.  Color me surprised when Hef proposed to Crystal last Christmas.  After he wouldn’t marry Holly.  And thus began my love/hate relationship with Hef.  To be honest, I didn’t get over that until Crystal bolted just days before their wedding.

Since then, I’ve watched Hef’s new documentary.  Before you judge his lifestyle choices, do a little research and see how much he’s actually done for women.  He’s so different than most people.  He dosen’t talk a good game, he plays it.  And he wins it.  He’s battle courts over rights for women to have birth control, for freedom of speech, for women’s rights.  People say that he’s objectifying women by putting them naked in magazines but as a woman, I don’t feel objectified at all.  I always thought it was so amazing to see women standing there, naked and proud.  Especially in the old days, before fake boobs.  Back in the power muff days.

I also watched the Runaway Bride special.  Lifetime really banked on that.  Commercials every 2 seconds.  Crystal has gone on every show that will take her to talk about how it wasn’t the lifestyle she wanted.  Really?  You spend 2 years living that lifestyle and 6 months being engaged to that lifestyle.  She could have stopped at any time.  She could have left.

The way she left was really unclassy.  She and Hef, by their own words, talked about how they were not going through with the wedding.  And the next day she moves on car and leaves in the other car during movie night.  Is that the actions of an adult?  Hell no.  She would not have the things she had without Hef.  It was pretty clear she was cheating on him in the first place but really, to plan a wedding, cheat on your fiancé and book it during movie night, saying you are going to Walgreens?  Whew!

Things quieted down until the special and I think she’s gotten a lot of shit for the way she handled things.  So yesterday, she went on the Howard Stern show and said that sex with Hef was horrible and it lasted 2 seconds.  If you thought she had no class before, here’s your big fat blinking bright ass sign that there is not one classy bone in her plastic body.  Sure, when you are involved in a breakup, you talk smack with your girlfriends over ice cream and brownies and wine.  But you don’t go on a big radio show and degrade the man that’s supported your ass for 2.5 years, even when you put out the worst single in the world.  That Rebecca Friday chick had her song done on Glee from a youtube video.  Crystal’s song bottomed out on itunes.  She didn’t even sing live in London.  She didn’t even have a stage.

There are mistakes and there are outright unclassy actions.  Crystal Harris is not a good person.  I am hoping she’ll fade into the background and every once in a while, people will say, “oh yeah, do you remember that total bitch that Hef almost married?”  Hopefully people will stop giving her interviews.  Because I seriously doubt she’ll do the right thing and shut the fuck up.  She got a Bentley, she got money and she got an expensive ring.  Does she really need to sink even lower by talking about their sex life?  Whether it was good or not, she stayed.  She accepted his marriage proposal.  She planned a freaking wedding.  DO THE RIGHT THING. GROW UP.  MOVE ON.

And you know, Hef walked away knowing that he has so much love and so much support from family, friends and fans.  At 85, that’s pretty awesome to have.  Then again, Hef is a pretty special guy.


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