Chapter 17….Part 1

Alright, I’ve dragged this out and honestly, I’m sad to start posting chapter 17 because that’s it. That’s the last chapter.  Something I started doing years ago will be over.  I thought I’d be excited to finish but I’m sad.  Perhaps it’s the events of the last week and then some.  I’m only going to torture you guys a tiny bit.  Part one will post today and Part two will post next week.  And that will be all our Liz wrote.  At least that we know of.



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6 responses to “Chapter 17….Part 1

  1. Lenise

    I believe there is also a chapter 18, will you also be posting that chapter? Thank you for posting the book I have really enjoyed it

  2. Anon

    You know, there is a reason that this book went out of print and I think it was because it is such a sick book written by a women who was clearly still mentally ill. It’s nothing but a Ted apologist book. Her justifying why she was with him and how she was his one true love (yeah right). Her denial and sickness is painful to read. No self respecting publisher would publish this. This is not a book of healing or self growth, it is the ramblings of a mad woman who if Ted Bundy was still alive today, would still be defending him and running to his side. It is so vile I am quite happy to not ever read the end of the book!

  3. Brooke

    Pretty pleaseeee post the end of the book? Thanks for posting it in the first place. It’s very interesting. It’s sad that this woman feels this way…so insecure and desperate for love. The perfect victim for a man like Ted Bundy to take advantage of (a victim in a different way obviously than his murder victims). When I was reading all of the excerpts from Ted’s letters, I couldn’t help but wonder if he really wrote those things to her? She seemed messed up enough to make it up to make herself feel better, to feel wanted, to prove to others his love, etc. It’s crazy that one of her top concerns is her place in his life romantically and whether he is dating other people when women are being raped and murdered, crimes for which he is on trial with an outcome of life in prison or death. I think deep down she knows he’s guilty, but to admit it would ruin the narrative she has envisioned of this great love between them. It’s an inner battle that causes her the most pain. She needed some serious help. I hope she got it at some point. BTW, isn’t it crazy to think that Ted Bundy would be in his 70’s if he were alive today? Wow.

  4. Hello everyone! i don’t know if the person who runs this blog is still active, (i don’t know your name though i rode many of your posts beside the phantom prince :/) but i’d like to thank you for posting it, like everyone else! 🙂 also: i’m very sorry for your loss, i hope it got better since it happened…

    firstly, i’m from Paris, so i think that you’ll find some mistakes in my text, i think i can make some readable content, tho ^^

    i’m writting this because i think everyone is mistaken on this book. See, thanks to those posts i could FINALY read about someone who had the same experience as I, and trust me i never found anything about it before. Let me explain:
    two years ago i began a relationship with my former boyfriend (thanks God we’re not together anymore), and some mounthes after our break up, i realised he had a dyssocial personnality, aka he was a true, twisted psychopath. He never told me, his younger brother did, very recently.
    At the same time, my best friend and I also realised he was a rapist; he almos raped me twice, fortunatly i knew how to defend myself. I was 17 when i was with him, and didn’t know anyhing about conjugal rape, i understood later on what had happened to me. But as i searched informations on him, i realised a girl had already go to the police some years before, because apparently my ex had raped her. She was very young, and she lost her trial. other students like me had has weird stories with him, but my ex always told me they were freaks, and explained me why, sometimes with “proofs”, and i kind of believed him, even though it appeared weird to me that so many girls were…”freaks”? But i admired my ex so much i wanted to be special to him as well; so i simply erased these girls from my memory.

    So now, what is it like to be in a relashionship with those kind of guys? well just know that i barely can explain it better than Liz did. It’s simply Hell on earth. The most traumatizing experience with someone you’ll ever have(of course all abusive relashionships are hell on earth, i’m not minimalizing the pain of others :/). I was shocked while reading this book: the words that Ted uses to speak to Liz, the letter he sent to her were almost exactly the same as for me. Like, i’m not even kidding: I could copy/paste the messages of my ex right here, on this reply section. The same words, the same “loving”/pityful attitude. You guys are saying that Liz has made a selection of letters involving the fact that Ted loved her. No, you don’t understand: ALL. OF. THEIR. LETTERS. ARE. THE. SAME. like, in the end she doesn’t even comment anymore the letters she’s putting in her book: that’s because she could have randomly pick one, and put it anywhere, it would’ve been the same. When they’re not saying they love you, they act as if they blamed themselves, saying that you’re right, that they’re not good enough for you, that they wish they were better, that you’re all of their life etc etc. in the end of my relashionship i was just bored with these words; because psychopaths talk, talk, talk, but never act. they justify themselves by every possible way. My ex had litteraly a double life on my back: i was extremely suspicious but i had no proofs. It’s almost impressive, how they hide everything from everyone; almost scary, to say so. When i finaly found a photo where he was litteraly kissing what turned out to be his nearly wife, i confronted him, showed it to him. Guess what he said? “look at yourself, loosing your temper all the time, ruining our moments, interpreting a photo without any context. You have no confidence in me, as i always said.” like: WTF??????this was a WHOLE serie of photos like that with that girl, there was no further proofs needed, and yet the guy was still denying everything.

    Psychos stay calm while you get angry, make you feel like a fool everyday, they make you burst in anger, and then make you feel awful about it, by crying on your shoulder about how they deserve everything that happen to them, blblabblablabla. Fortunatly, i was not the kind of girl who’s naive. I was quick-minded, not afraid of others; not the kind that constantly blame herself. I found the guy ridiculous. Yet, my ex was older than me, sometimes he frightened the hell out of me, but i confronted him many times, forcing him to face what he was doing to me. in front of a psychopath, you can feel they could rip your head off anytime; Liz surely felt it too, inside, that’s why she sometimes shutted up about the problems Ted was obviously bringing with him. And yet, MY boyfriend was not accused of murder. imagine what it’s like when above all, your psycho-boyfriend is researched by the police. I was already over stressed with that guy( i had suddently anorexia and i smoked at least 20 cigarettes a day), i think i would have done at least 1 panic crisis per day with that thought. I would have been afraid to go as well. Also, do you know why Liz is still staying? i think there’s one thing she’s not explaining very well in her book (but she tried i swear) is that these persons are double faced. A first they act all normal, nice, caring; then the situation chnge bit by bit. They become suddently authoritarian, i don’t know if you remember when Ted told Liz not to go in the park without him, at the beggining of the book. How he always show HIS places, how they do many of HIS activities. They are control freaks. My ex didn’t want me to speak too much to my friends about our relationship because, you know, “we are so special, the others are just lower than us”. My ass. i went ahead and told gradualy my bests friends about it. their act never matches what they say: just like Ted, my former boyfriend used to act extremely weirdly, abusively, and yet he was all “sweet” in his attitude, that made me doubt my own mind everytime. Sometimes, just like Ted he was late, especialy in the end of our relashioship, when i was really beggining to force him to speak. I began to be agressive with everyone, i was working all the time to forget about all this. Yet, a year before i used to be gentle, always kind to others, never a word upper than the other. i started become hysterical. sound familiar?
    what i’m trying to make people that will read this understand is: Ted was not special amoung other psychopaths. In fact, his attitude was totally average to his kind.And Liz attitude aswell, as unbeleavable as it seems. I wish this book had been selled more. i wish the 1% of the population that went through the same thing as Liz and I, knew they were not alone from the very beggining, thanks to those type of testimony. Liz would have break up with Ted, that’s for sure.
    But let’s not forget that, past then she didn’t have the ressources that we have nowadays. basic Dyssocial personnality was not even well known. There was almost no internet. She was isolated, she had already deceived her family many times in her opinion; she was a single mom and yes, i must admit, at the beggining of the book she’s a naive. But in the end of the story she’s clearly not the same anymore. She’s trying to push Ted away, and he came back with always more and more arguments. My ex refused to end our relationship; i had to block him everywhere (facebook, messenger, phone, etc) in order to be left in peace. he created himself 2 other phone numbers to speak to me, that i had to block again. Fortunatly i had to move to another flat in Paris in August, and my ex didn’t know anymore where to find me. But he knew i was moving to a certain place, and i swear i heard his Harley many times in September, around 10 pm, and i guessed he was searching for me. He tried to contact my family, my friends. it was awful. Just like Liz i was afraid that this guy would show up to my school, i was afraid he’d seriously come to get me; i think i saw him once, fortunately i had company. Back in the days, Liz could not make Ted stop calling her, she could not move endlessely to a place from another. Why isn’t she talking about her daughter more in her book? because she surely want to be relieved of these dark memories. Her daughter was, thanks god, not a part of them. Don’t forget that she was so much in pain, that she became an alcoholic, she clearly became suicidary, she hated herself. She was beyond vulnerable, and Ted surely knew about it. They can smell if people ae vulnerable or not, he even says it in the end. No doubt Ted, like all psychos, was sending the same letters, calling the same way other girls, putting them in the same pain. Liz knew it, yet she was desesperate, not sick. If i was in the 70’s, i’m sure it would have took me at least 4 years before truely breaking up with my ex. they harass you “gently”, in a way you can’t imagine. I was forgiving my ex everytime he came back, yet i knew he was almost openly cheating on me, making me feel suicidal, isolating me from my friends, made me fell truely worthless all the time. he didn’t care much about my feelings;he didn’t cared about anyone.
    oh how i wish this book was popular before the execution of this sick bastard, he would have aknowledge the fact that he’s nothing but an average psychopath; i’m sure some tongues would have come untied, and other men/women would have testify that all psychopaths are the same, that solutions exist. That would have break his fucking ego once for all, and surely help better than you imagine the poor ones that went through all this.
    So, just know that no one is ever prepared to meet these kind of persons, no one can prevent it without proper acknowledgement about psychology, even now, with all the informations we’ve got online. I understand why Liz did let Ted in her life again and again. it’s the same as for wifes/husbands that forgive again and again their partners that beat them up. there’s a very good film about it named “l’Emprise”, that explain these type of never ending-toxic relathionships; the film even helped a friend of mine that was severely beaten up by her father reach out for help.(but beware, it is violent.) i’m sure you can find it in english, or with subtitles.

    I hope that sharing a little bit of my story helped you understand better Liz’s story, that without any doubt is surely the story of many other lost souls (mine included). If you think one of your friends is in a relashioship with these kind of men/women, and is in trouble with it, just make them read the firsts chapters, they will surely recognize themselves through the book.
    if you want to know if i did something against my ex: i’m currently searching for more proofs that he’s guilty of rape and i’ll be soon contacting his current girlfriend (the one he cheated on with me) to tell her about his lies. No one deserves to be treated like this. Plus he already bragged about being awful with her many times. so i’m making my own mooves, like Liz when she reached out to the police. because, in the end, let’s not forget that despite all she went to the police station a dozen times, asking again and again to be taken seriously and to lock Ted in jail. whatever what she was thinking: she did it and i find it incredibly brave. 🙂

    again, i wish the book had more visibility, so that it could help other persons like it did to me. thanks for sharing it again, i wish i could explain even more how much this story match mine in every way, but it’ll take me a whole book to do it ^^”
    a former professor of mine had once a psychopath friend, and when she tried to make her go away she continued to call….during 10 years. they are fricking terrifying.

    that’s all! thanks if you rode this entirely, i really needed to say it; i apologize if it bothered you, owner of the blog, that my text was so long; i only meant to help <:)

  5. (and just in case you wondered why i don’t simply make a blog and a whole post about it…well all of this story happened very recently and i don’t want to make a whole blog about all this; my ex is still in the nature, connected as everyone else, in my opinion it’s way too risky ^^’ i’m just happy that i found a blog where i can discuss about it maybe, with people that have already read stories like this, even if some poeple have a bad opinion about this book ^^ i just realized it’s the very first time i say online that i went through this, i’m a little bit afraid of the reactions, if there’s any :/ )

  6. kaylalay25

    Please please post rest of chapter 17 and 18! So so good!

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