Tag Archives: facebook

You Can’t Tell Me What To Do

I love a good bad word.  I think it’s beyond silly that people get so offended by a simple word.  I love to say crazy things just to get the people around me all riled up.  My aunt taught me to say “fucking A!”  My grandmother calls my uncle “AH” in public.  It’s polite for ‘asshole.’  So perhaps I’ve been a little influenced in my word ways.

My paternal grandmother got Facebook.  Then we had a little pot calling the kettle black situation.  She’s got some issues and the words she chooses are just hateful and nasty but she thought she could shame me into not saying fuck anymore.  I was like…fuck that! Get off my page!

Seriously.  I took her off my page.

I accept that there’s people who hate using or hearing those types of words.  But I shouldn’t have to censor myself because someone else dislikes something.  I dislike perfume.  I dislike body odor.  I dislike the smell of coffee but I’m not trying to get rid of Starbucks.  I also dislike people saying they’ll pray for me.  Or asking for prayers.  Or posting bible verses on Facebook but again, I accept that it’s their pages and they have every right to write what they want.

Alas, that doesn’t keep people from yapping.  A good friend of mine posted today that her friends list went down by two so it was probably something she said.  My reply was “meh, fuck it.  Their loss.”  She agreed.  Because honestly, if someone gets their feelings hurt over Facebook, it’s silly.  I love everything she posts.  I have a feeling who dropped from her list and why.  It’s not some big deal.  But some rude lady is all “I would appreciate if u would watch ur mouth.”

I had a lot of comebacks I could have thrown at her.

“I would appreciate it if you would spell things out instead of write like a teenager.”

“I would appreciate it if you would keep your cunt mouth shut, you don’t know me.”

“Fuck this fucking fuckery you fat fuck.”

“Fuck off, eat shit, you fucking asscunt.”

But I love the crap out of my friend and I don’t want her to catch shit over some stuck up lady.  I’ve gone head to head with a family member of hers before.  He was harassing her online, putting her business out there and I wasn’t about to stand for it.  I’m fiercely loyal and protective of my friends.  No joke.  And this wasn’t worth enough for her getting bitched at for me telling this lady off so I just posted “hahahaha!”  She can reply or not.  If she does, I’ll politely mention that censorship isn’t what America is about and there’s a block button if she feels the need to miss out on my witty comments.

I mean, I’m pissed.  Who does this lady think she is?  She doesn’t know me.  I’m not on her page.  I’m not saying anything I wouldn’t say right on my own status message.   And my friend has no problem with my choice of words.  If it came from her, as I have had friends who have voiced their opinion on disliking certain words, I’d listen in a heartbeat. Where do people get off thinking they can boss people around on social networking sites?  I see it all the time.  It’s so insulting to be bossed around by someone I don’t know.

Plus it just makes me want to say crazier things.

But life goes on.  There’s always going to be some asshole at the party who wants everyone to sit quietly and twiddle their thumbs.  Doesn’t mean anyone has to listen to them.  Really.  Use your words!  Speak your mind!  Because there’s plenty of countries who have people who don’t get that luxury.  Exercise your rights, for fucks sake!

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It’s Wednesday….Give Me a Break On This One

I’m at the age where most of my friends have children.  This can be a lot of joy or a lot of frustration.  There’s two types of parents.  And surprisingly, this applies to dads as well.

The first type is the kick ass amazing mom.  Usually, these wonderful ladies are amazing before they get pregnant.  They are amazing during and amazing after.  They don’t post constantly about their child’s poop.  There’s not a new album every day filled with hundreds of pictures of their child and no annoying reminders to look at said albums and comment on every picture.  Their pictures and stories are usually very entertaining.  And their kids usually make you think, wow I hope my future children are half as cute or sweet or funny or as smart as they are.

And then there’s the friend that turns into a complete asshole.  They can’t hold a conversation without telling you what Little Susie did today.  They stop caring about you and your life because you don’t have kids.  You can go to their page and literally, every status is about Johnny.  They blog every month or so but only about updates on Susie or Johnny and they don’t care to read your or comment.  And they don’t even pretend to care what’s going on in your life.  They post about how DARE the neighbors do fireworks at a reasonable hour on the two holidays that require fireworks.   Because don’t they know your precious child is SLEEPING.  And how dare the neighbors make a sound in the middle of the afternoon because your baby is napping.  You know, the whole world should stop for you and your kid.

The kick ass mom will usually say, man just wait until you have kids, it’s hella fun and you’ll be a great parent.  The latter, asshole mom will ask when you plan on having one.  Even after you’ve expressly told them you are not ready and won’t be ready for a while. And you just might want to go a different route and then you get told you should have a real baby.

Slowly, I’ve weeded out the asshole parents.  Sure, I’m interested in your children.  Well, okay, let me be honest.  There’s a select few children that I adore to pieces and would do anything for.  I think they are the world and I look down on other babies for not being as adorable or as beautiful or as funny or as smart. If that makes me a horrible person, so be it.  I know these kids are going to grow up to be fantastic.  I know that because I know their mothers are the best women I do know or will ever know.  I admire them. I respect them.

But where do you draw the line?  What if it’s a friend you’ve known for a long time?  Do you say something?  Do you keep trying?  It’s easy to ignore the people you barely talk to.  People who have added you or you added because you went to school with them.  But when a good friend seems to have morphed into crazy mom, it’s hard to decide how to handle that.  I went through it with my best friend from my college years.   When she met the father of her kids, she went crazy for him.  And when she got pregnant, I knew that was the beginning of the end.  I tried to hang in there but it just got insane.  When her first kid was old enough to get into books, I got him my favorite book, Pat The Bunny.  I still have my old copy and got him the updated version.  And when she took it away from him because “he got too excited about it” I pretty much knew we were going down hill as friends.  There was no separation between her and her being a mother.  Plus seeing her two year old pulling down her top to breast feed was beyond creepy.  By the second kid, I was so done.  There’s a lot more to that story but that’s the basics of it.

I’ve seen a few people outright ignore the childless friends.  I’ve seen a few people get really high and mighty that they are parents and others are not.  You know the whole “you won’t really understand anything until you are a parent” attitude.  I’ve also seen parents of multiple kids basically goad parents of single children into having more.  Because they aren’t good enough until they have more! MORE!

I feel like the mommy blogs should be banned from the internet.  I read one tonight that was just like…wow.  There was an article about the STFU blogs and it was a good one.  Basically the mom said that it’s helped her filter out what she should put online and it’s kept her grounded into being a mother and a woman and a person.  And it was surprising to see that all but two comments were positive and non-crazy.  One was a troll.  Easy to ignore.  Mostly everyone talked about how they are tired of hearing about poop and are tired of only hearing about the kids.  Most of these people seem to be talking about good friends and not just random facebook friends.  Friends they’d had a relationship with and was able to talk about their lives until they had kids and now it’s literally, nothing but the kids.  And I was really touched to see a lot of them say, hey we care about your kids but we want to know how YOUR life is.  It wasn’t just bitching about people not posting interesting things anymore.  But one comment floored me.

“Assuming you’re the key audience of anyone’s social interactions is rife with disappointment. The total and complete point of my facebook is my child – I only got the damn thing to show photos to relatives flung far and wide. If you’ve friended me and are now laying down expectations about how I should behave to better entertain you, then you are going to be very disappointed. And if you try frame that with “oh but your identity!!” I will lose my shit.

Mothers cop a lot of this utter garbage about identity, all coated in ‘have some wine, a bubblebath, chocolate!’ or ‘boy into this expensive hobby!’ or ‘adopt this ‘subcultural’ identity marker clothing’ yet actual on the ground support to study, work, take time for themselves, do art, write, hell, just sleep enough to think, is non-existent.

Motherhood changed my life completely. I refuse to apologise for being less entertaining. Yet I have somehow retained friends! Crazy!

(I don’t get how endless photos of your cats is feministquirky, but endless photos of your kids is anti-feministidentitykiller)

(and yeah, my facebook photo is me and the kid – that’s a fair reflection of my life, sorry if you want drunkpics, that’s not how I choose to construct my online identity)”

Whew, tell us what you really think, geek.anachronism.  So how selfish is it that she thinks people are using her as entertainment?  The idea of social networking is to be social and network.  It’s to keep in touch.  Your life as a woman doesn’t stop just because you become a parent.  And shutting that out completely leaves your friends to grieve your friendship.  It really does.  It has nothing to do with entertainment.  The friends I’ve lost to that ideology, I miss their stories.  I miss their adventures.  I miss just being able to talk about silly tv shows.  Or books they’ve read or movies they’ve seen.  I understand it’s hard to do some of those things when you’ve got a living breathing thing to care for 24/7 but you don’t stop having thoughts and ideas and feelings.  The universe doesn’t stop. I really wish these parents could see that.  They aren’t adding to the world.  They are taking themselves away.  And another commenter hit that nail right on the head when they said, “If we don’t remember that we are still citizens of the world, we are failing our kids in an essential way, since one of our primary jobs as parents is to raise our kids to be responsible, participatory citizens of their various communities.”  If you can’t balance a few status messages about you with pictures of your child, what message is that sending them?  And then to go all nutters on an article and then rant on your blog to the point where it just doesn’t make sense?  Whew! I think this mom should have her geek status taken away from her.  And put on some medication.  And a lot of therapy.

I guess at least I don’t know any parents who made their babies facebook pages and then uses it to talk to themselves.  My dogs have facebook.  Not because I’m crazy.  They literally have fans who thought it would be hilarious to read.  And it is.  My girl dog talks about her power muff.  Yes, she has a power muff.  If you don’t know what a power muff is, think 70s Playmate.

I’ve really got to get together some good posts for my lovely readers because this post today was total crap.  And I’m only posting it because I spent so long rambling and writing it.  No go forth and judge me for giving my dog a power muff!



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Selfish Facebookers

The defense has rested, so shall I.  A few quick points, I amend my previous statement.  I do think George had an affair.  I read his suicide note and it’s not as interesting as I thought it would be.  I’ll probably break that one down into it’s own post at some point or another.  Casey not testifying was super lame.

Now let’s talk about something different.  Okay, really this is just so I can bitch about some bad manners I’m seeing on Facebook.  But go with me people!  Roll with it!

There’s the new mom Facebooker.   Before the bouncing bundle of joy tore out of her vagina, she could hold a conversation that didn’t include babies or breastfeeding.  But the second she got her mom badge, that’s all she talks about.  And it’s not even “little Jane pooped green today! How is that possible?”  It’s always, “so lucky to be his mom.”  As if the rest of us without kids are wasting our lives.  Our lives mean nothing.  She’s always the mom who brags about nursing and breastfeeding.  She posts endless notes about how worth it breastfeeding is, how amazing it is, how she’s so proud to be feeding her child from her own body.  Of course she’d love to go home and relax but she just loves being a mom. LOVES IT.   Personally, I think if you have to post that every day, you are trying to convince yourself of all that and you don’t really mean it.  She’s also the one who is always posting that other people should have kids.  Why?  It’s like a pyramid scheme.  You are in for a lot of money and the only way out is to rope in other people.

On the flip side, kudos to the moms who can balance a conversation, only posts the super adorable pictures of their kids and not a 100 picture album just for the first week of June and doesn’t hound people to look at the pictures and comment on each and every one.  Kudos to those same moms who have respect for the moms who can’t or do not want to breastfeed.  Kudos to the moms who take time out of their day to care about what their friends are doing.

Then there’s the complainer.  If you go on their wall, it’s filled with how sad their day was, how bad it was, how horrible it was.  A lot of them are just sad faces with 5 people going “what’s wrong” and no one ever gets an answer.  These are the same people who still manage to be depressing when someone tries to point out something happy.  These people also never EVER post on anyone’s statuses.  Their entire existence on Facebook is to talk about how they are sad.  They could get a basket full of kittens under a double rainbow and win the lottery and they will still go on Facebook and say something like “I have an ant bite. FML.”  It leaves you wishing someone would F their L.

Oh, the must be nice people!  These people can’t be happy for anyone.  They live their life, jealous of what everyone has.  You post about getting new nail polish and they come back with, “I wish I had $8.50 to spend on nail polish.  I don’t know if I’ll be able to eat tonight.”  Really? Because obviously you can afford a computer and the internet or a cell phone with a data plan so….  I’m guessing most of these people could have nice things but being jealous makes them happier.  I’m a Mac person.  I switched years ago and I haven’t had a blue screen of death since.  No crashing.  No virus completely killing my computer and all the pictures on it.  So if someone complains about computer trouble, I politely point out the nice features that come with a Mac.  And I reserve that opinion until they talk about getting a new computer.  Someone I knew did this and I mentioned my happy Mac-ness and she said they were too expensive.  Then she posts the Dell she ordered.  Same price as a Mac.  I laughed a year later when the Dell was broken.  Instead of being such an assface, just say something nice like, “wow that’s a great computer/toy/shirt/hooker.”

Always tagging your significant other every where you go.  “Jack and Jill are at Chili’s.”  “Dick and Jane are at the gym.”  And then…the significant other has to comment on it like, “I told you to get the ribs…stay away from my burger!”  If your profile says you are with someone, don’t worry, we are already going to assume you are together at whatever place you are going to.  We don’t need to see your tags and your flirting.  Or your attempt at public flirting.  I promise, without all that, your relationship will still be real.  You don’t need Facebook to validate your relationship.

There’s the opposite to those people and it’s the people who you know are going to date because they are constantly tagging each other at places.  If you are with Susie 24/7 and you feel the need to tag it on Facbeook, just make it official so we can all stop wondering if you are playing hide the salami with her.

I cannot stand the people who spread around those copy/paste statuses.  It is not personal to you that you lost someone to cancer when 15 other people have the same status.  Take two seconds to honor the people you’ve lost with someone original.

Also, no one wants to see what music videos you are watching.  When you post 10 a day, I start to wonder if I need to press that handy hide button.

And how about those spoiler people?  You post you are going to watch Glee and there’s always that one person who has to warn you not to post any spoilers.  First of all, it’s my Facebook.  MINE.  And if I want to tell you who hooked up with you and who won and who didn’t, I’m going to.  Since I’m always super polite, I always warn people before I post anything spoilerish, don’t feel the need to lecture me or you’ll know every ending to every show and every movie on the planet.  Those same people rush, RUSH to post spoilers to ruin it for everyone else so that’s double frustrating.  Personally, I don’t care who won Idol but I’m sure there’s West coast people on your list who have no lives and do care so have some manners.

Last, learn how to spell and use correct grammar.  Don’t slang.  Don’t ghetto.  FML, SMDH, and all the others are pointless.  I know I’m horrible at using LOL as a response but I’ve gotten a lot better.  If I just want to type LOL, I just like whatever the person said above me.  It’s simple.  It’s easy.  It’s polite.  My new motto is “use your words.”  If you take two seconds to research it, your browser should have an add on for spell checking.  ALOT is not AWORD.   Don’t blame your phone for constant misspellings.  Use punctuation.  Then/than, your/you’re, there/their, loose/lose.  Learn them, live them.  Otherwise you look like a moron and I’ll blackout your name and post them on my private blog for my friends to laugh at.

Boom roasted.

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The Silly That Is Facebook

People use Facebook for just about everything.  Keeping in touch with old and new friends.  Or family.  Stalking old loves.  Stalking new loves.  Posting endless videos and pictures that most people don’t care about or even look at.  Facebook is both good and evil.  And most of the time, it keeps a fine balance.  But sometimes you get an asshole that you just can’t help calling out.

Today I noticed a post from an old high school mate.  We don’t talk much but I read everything that’s on my news feed so I read his venting post.  It was like most venting posts.  He didn’t call anyone out but he pointed out something everyone probably gets frustrated by.  People not answering their phones or returning calls.  But his particular situation was him calling from out of the country and leaving voicemails for someone and they deleted them without listening.  I would be frustrated by that as well.  And I probably would put that frustration into a status message.  Facebook is a great place for people to say, “we feel the same way!”  And when you see that you aren’t alone, you feel better.

Normally, you’d get a bunch of “yeah, I hate that too” replies.  But here was someone being a real bitch to him.  I’m good with bitch replies because sometimes people need to be put in their place but she was snotty and arrogant over nothing.  She called him dramatic and all this other stuff.  Then she says she has a law degree.  Because…ummm…that what?  Explains why she couldn’t spell or talk correctly?  If it had been one reply, I would have ignored it.  But I’ve about had it with people who think they can say whatever they want because they are behind a computer or a cell phone.  I’m all about owning your actions.  This cunt was being a cunt for the sake of being a cunt.  So I simply said that I was disturbed that someone with a law degree couldn’t spell.  And I added a little winky face for the fun of it.  Kind of a “people are reading this so let’s stop showing what kind of a degree having moron you are.”  She immediately replies asking why I would ‘attack’ someone I did not know and ‘be blessed.’

Oh. Hell. No.

I can Boom Roast like no other.  I’m Veronica Mars witty.  She could have gotten a very different calling out but I figured she could bow out gracefully after 10 or so really hateful messages that were open for anyone to read.  I expected a reply but be blessed?  Really?  Because there was zero Christianess in her replies.  Adding that was arrogant and stupid.  I politely pointed out that no Christian God that I’d heard of would approve of her words so she can keep on keeping on but keep the blessings to herself.  There’s a reason I’m not religious and she is the perfect example of the straight up hypocritcal bullshit I see so called Christians put out every single day.

I mean…really?!  Be blessed?  She needs an exorcism and a dictionary.  To the face.  BOOM ROASTED.  I have no idea the history between her and the original poster but I’ve had enough of people acting like there’s no consequences for their actions.  If I post something online for the world to see, I accept that I can be called out for anything I say.  I welcome it.  Checks and balances.  And it seems like no one is willing to check or balance anything these days and I seem to have no problem with either.  Such is my lot in life, I suppose.  I accept that.

She quieted down and cut ties with the original poster.  I figure that’s a good thing.  They seemed to have a history that wasn’t full of puppies and sunshine.  There’s no point in having toxic people in your life, even on Facebook.  Plus, who wants a lawyer who can’t spell.  Even if it’s online, on Facebook.   Tuck your tail and run, lawyer-lady.  If God is real, I’m sure he’s watching your nonsense and shaking his head.

*Just FYI, feel free to comment on any of my posts.  I’m open to any and all comments, questions or concerns.  Just say hi!  Agree with me!  Disagree with me!

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